On your mark, get set, and catch up on your Z’s, people, because this year’s festival will prove to be a fun yet bumpy ride for the next ten days. Well, at least the stars who’ve been in rehab, ‘yo!

It’s finally here — today is the official day of 33rd annual The Toronto Film Festival — and here’s an exclusive preview on what not to expect at the best celluloid celebration in the world.

Toronto Is Burning Sans Clooney

*Memo to George Clooney stalkers (and yes that includes moi): surprise — the sexy eligible bachelor proves once again he can’t commit. No, the Oscar winner hasn’t dumped another starlet. Clooney-licious has officially confirmed he won’t be attending TIFF [inset shriek here]. Although the former ER stud (who, by the way, will reportedly reprise his role for the hit show’s series finale this fall) attended his film, Burn After Reading’s premiere in Venice, every single male and female in Toronto will have to set their sights elsewhere. When the star was asked whether or not he would ever settle down at the Venice Festival, he retorted, “I am getting married and having a child today.” But not in Toronto. Damn you, George — damn you! But don’t worry TIFF-gazers, his co-star Brad Pitt will be here.

Damn sex addiction!

*Okay, the Cadillac Insider isn’t going to make light of anyone bravely attempting to battle their demons, but news that Californication’s dreamy leading man, David Duchovny is currently in rehab for sexual addiction is kind of hot, non? Okay, bad joke, but you get the point. Unfortunately, Mrs. Duchovny, Tea Leoni will be pulling a Clooney while her hubby of eleven years seeks help. Her film, Ghost Town, which co-stars The Office superstar Ricky Gervais, will be screened this week. Gervais, who isn’t suffering from a sex addiction, will be in the T-dot to promote the film. On a serious note, The Cadillac Insider wishes a speedy recovery to one of our favourite actors.

Madonna, can you hear me?

*Mr. Ciccone premieres his new film, RocknRolla tomorrow night at the Elgin Theatre, but don’t expect Madonna on his arm. The Material Mum is touring the world with her concert extravaganza, The Sweet N’ Sticky Tour. Want a peek at Guy Ritchie — the official after-party is being held at the Boiler House in the Distillery District at 11 p.m.

Aniston and Pitt reunion?

OMFG: Could Toronto be the venue for a super couple reunion? Highly unlikely, but according to gossip rags, Angelina Jolie isn’t happy that her partner, Burn Without Reader headliner Brad Pitt will be in Hollywood North at the same time on September 6 his ex-wife, Management star Jennifer Aniston will be in Toronto. Although a reunion is highly unlikely, buzz is that the former spouses may show up at the One X One event on Sept. 8 — a charity event their BFF Matt Damon is hosting. Scandalous, indeed!

Film Syllabus: Must-See Movies To Check Out This Week

So which movies should you invest time in trying to see, or bribe an usher to sneak you into the theatre? Here are my top five insider picks: Rachel Getting Married finds Ann Hathaway ditching her Disney past in the dust by playing a recovering drug addict; The Duchess may lead to an Oscar victory for Keira Knightley; Don MacKellar’s masterpiece, Blindness, starring Oscar bridesmaid, Julianne Moore; The Coen Brothers’ latest opus, Burn After Reading (do we have to explain this — hello: Clooney and Pitt are the eye candy); and last, but certainly not least, Passchendaele, headlining Paul Gross about World War II from a Canuck perspective, eh! Steven Spielberg, who? Pass the popcorn, and festival safe, friends!

Until tomorrow.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am and is filed under TIFF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.